Hectic Life

The last quarter of 2013 has been extremely busy for me.  In a good and welcoming way of course.

Here they are:

1. I purchased an apartment - Oct 2013. Yeay!!
This is definitely a big commitment.  It now becomes extremely important that I have a constant stream of fixed income per month. Hurdles! hurdles! hurdles! came in a big way and it is still coming. 

• Moving house, was a nightmare - I didn't know  that the apartment management from where I am moving-from to where I am moving-to don't allow moving on the weekends.  I had to cancel the lorry that I have booked and I have to find a new lorry because the lorry that I have book is not available the following day.  I had to take emergency leave to arrange for the move because I have promised my landlord that I will move by the following day! On the day of the move I just realised that I actually have accumulated too much things, knick knacks by living by myself so the lorry had to make 2 trips.  Guess what? It rained when we went on the first trip so my things that I left were soaking wet.... but I am happy anyway, I have a home of my own now :)

• Furnishing my new house - waa... the cost to do kitchen cabinet, my bed and mattress, what with my children's bed and mattress... is really taking a toll on my purse.. so we decided to just have the bed and mattress first for our bedrooms and kitchen cabinet.  The rest we will buy as and when we have some extras. So have plastic drawers for my children and I have ikea drawers for myself that I bought some time back.  My ikea drawers were soaked during the move so it is not at its most beautiful condition but it still function well, so i am fine with it.  We watch tv on my bamboo mat.  I am not in a hurry so I don't mind taking a year or two to complete the furnishing of the house.

2. My children and I went on a vacation to Singapore for 5 days 4 nights - end of Nov 2013. First vacation with my children. Yeay!!

• I have booked our accomodation and tour guides during the March2013 MATTA fair so this expense have been paid earlier on during the year.  I have also purchased the flight tickets to Singapore some time in May 2013.  Again this expense has also been paid earlier on.  But there are other expenses.  I haven't book our transport to come back to KL.  My children have never experience taking the train so we wanted to book the train from Singapore to KL.  They wanted to try to get the night train that has bed facilities.  But I have been busy and did not do the booking of this earlier on so when we went to KL Central to purchase the tickets with beds, they have all been sold out.  So we had no choice to take the normal (2nd class) ticket with just normal seats.  Now we are all set.  We have enough pocket money for our spending.

• It was lots of fun being just me and my children. We stayed in Geylang and guess what? What an adventure! the alley (the name of the road is really Lorong 18) where our hotel is located at is near a few brothel houses (prostitution houses).  Prostitution is legal in Singapore.  It was initially a shocked to my children and me but after two day we got used to it.  Although there are some bodyguard looking man outside the brothel houses but they never disturb us as we don't disturb them as well.  Who in their right mind would, anyway.  There are so many CCTV around this area.   During the days when we have not booked tours we go on our own around Singapore relying heavily on the MRT services.  Halal food is rather difficult to find.  Anyway, everything looks expensive.  We ate McDonald a few times but only ordered Filet-o-fish to be on the safe side.  We  went to Arab Street and found the Sultan Mosque. Aahhh... we finally found a Minang restaurant, a Malay cafe and a few mamak restaurant.  So solat is taken care of by going to Sultan Mosque (very comfortable) and halal food is in abundance around this area.  There is no surau/musolla in shopping complexes in Singapore so we were told. Singapore is such a clean country and the christmas decorations are already up at this time so the streets especially Orchard Road are beautifully decorated. 

• We went to Universal Studio, Night Safari, Singapore Flyer, Underwater World, Cable car, Songs of the Sea and buys lots of keychains.... the things in Singapore are really expensive if I convert the prices to Malaysian currency so the stingy me is reluctant to dig deep into my pockets :).  But Singapore give us a glimpse of what Malaysia can be if we really take care of this much-loved country of ours especially the cleanlines part of it.  So my fellow Malaysians, please do not litter as you please in public places.

3. I enrol myself into Basic Arabic class - Early Nov 2013. I must be crazy because it is extremely difficult... But I am enduring the pain... the Ustaz is really good... I really have to work my brain, it must have been rusty. 

So there you go. Q4 2013 is really hectic and busy for me.  Now time to set targets for 2014.  What are you planning to do in 2014?

I am still thinking.. thinking... thinking..

Well, I will write again... Good bye 2013.  May 2014 bring us abundance of prosperity, happiness and peacefulness in our lives.  May Allah always be with us and protect us from the things that we know and from the things that we don't know that can cause harm to us and our families... Assalamualaikum and good night my friends... 

My Escapism - KDrama

I stumble upon KDrama by accident when I watched City Hunter on tv early this year (Q1 2013)

City Hunter is my very first Kdrama and it has such a big impact on me.  It provides me the adventurous thrill and also the romance that I am looking for.

Eversince then I have watched a great deal of Kdrama.  I can finish a 16 - 20 episodes KDrama within 3 - 4 working days.  I find KDrama

- correctly potrays the emotions of a girl in-love

- provide an extreme hilarious situations that makes me laugh so hard

- creates sobbing scenes that makes me cry until my eyes are red and puffy but I am smiling afterwards

- gives me a boyfriend/husband only exists in my dreams

I get the complete whirlwind of emotions and it is so fulfilling.  I think there are many out there that will agree with me.  KDrama is my perfect escape from the real harsh world.  So I always look forward to escape to the Dramaland.

Here's a list of the KDrama I have watched so far (as at Oct 2013). I accidentally watch a Japanese one as well (but I forgot the title already).  Each one of them is very enjoyable.

1. City Hunter

2. Faith

3. Secret Garden

4. My Girlfriend is a Gumiho

5. The Winter The Wind Blows

6. Heartstring (Beautiful OST)

7. You're Beautiful (Awesome OST)

8. Love Rain

9. I Hear Your Voice

10. Flower Boys Next Door

11. Playful Kiss

12. Padam Padam

13. Answer Me 97

14. 49 Days (Great OST)

15. Arang and the Magistrate

16. Personal Preference

17. Queen In-Hyun's Man

18. Coffee Prince

19. King 2 Hearts

20. Full House

21. The World That They Live in

22. Boys Over Flowers

23. To The Beautiful You

24. Lie to Me

23. My Girl

My first favourite Korean actor is Lee Min Ho.  But I am beginning to like others as well.  I recently pick-up OSTs too. OSTs are sound track from the drama.  Korean dramas have really beautiful songs.

I go to www.gooddrama.net or www.dramafans.org to watch my Kdrama online.

So there you have it, my obsession with KDrama.  I have better grips on my KDrama addiction now, I think :-).  Anyway, saranghaeyo my readers.  Kam saham nida… 

To my Muslim readers, Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Adha.  Today in Mekah a great deal of Muslims are performing all sorts of ibadah, I guess that's why to many Muslims Hari Raya AidilAdha is more important than Hari Raya Aidilfitri. Wallahualam.  I didn't puasa Arafah today, which makes me feel really rugi.  I hope you managed to do so though.

Let's perform the sembahyang raya tomorrow, in sya Allah.

Till next time... Wassalamualaikum...

Not a Bed of Roses

Assalamualaikum and hi everyone,

Sorry if I am not very active in updating this blog.

Being single is fun but it is not a bed of roses.  There are a lot of things that I need to learn to do myself.  These are not bad actually, it shows that a woman can do what a man can.  But at times it can be frustrating.

Here are some of the not-so-fun-things that we single ladies have to look out for:

1. Car Tyre - Putting air into your car's tyre.  Do you know I don't even know how to do this initially.  But I learnt and now I know. I can do this effortlessly now.
2. Petrol - Ensuring that my car always have at least 2 bar (indicator) of petrol in my car's tank.  Reason being because I am afraid if I am stranded somewhere without petrol and I don't want to bother my siblings for such petty reasons.
3. Car Battery - Have you ever experienced your car battery died on you.  I had this happen first time when I forgot to turn off the lights of my car for more than 6 hours.  I actually cried at this time because there were no one around (I went for a course and came out after many has left the conference area) and I don't have enough money to call AAM.  You have to have at least RM50 to have AAM comes over or something like that.  I actually look for the security guard of the building and seek their help to jump-start my car.  Can you believe it that I have this happening to me twice already.  But the second time I was not as panic-stricken as the first.  I was more calm and able to think whom to call to get help.  Lesson learnt - subscribe to any of the Auto emergency services like AAM.  I didn't subscribe to it.  I still haven't :). I like to play with fire, huh...
4. Direction to go places - I don't have a GPS yet.  So when sometimes I need to go somewhere in KL or perhaps Klang for that matter, I have a real problem.  Since I don't have a GPS, I used my siblings and other family members a lot to get directions.  Oh, I use google map a lot as well so I usually have to do some homework first before planning to go to places I am not familiar with.  So far I've been lucky and I do not need a GPS yet.  But if it gets any harder, I may just get one.
5. Plumbing - I am renting my place now and one day the tap in the toilet just burst.  I have no clue what to do.  I quickly turn off the main tap, then quickly go to a nearby hardware shop to get a plumber.  With money, you can get help pretty easily.  Luckily I have enough to cover the plumbing costs.
6. Lighting - my master bedroom lights went off,  and a few days later the toilet in my master bedroom also went off.  I had to sleep and go to toilet using a torch light.  I totally don't know how to change the bulb myself. I was too ashamed to ask my landlord.  I live without lights in my master bedroom for more than 2 weeks before I finally told my landlord.  Later after some time passed, I asked my other lady friend who is single if she has had problem like mine.  She said she did and now she knows how to change the light bulb herself.  She's awesome, right.  Girl Power indeed!
7. Safety - My safety is my utmost biggest concern.  I rent a condo because I feel much safer with the security guards around and the public cannot come and go as they like.  I was a victim of snatch thief and having my car broken into.  I left my computer bags for the world to see and apparently someone like what they saw.  Lesson learnt: always keep your bag in the boot out of the sight of "curious and dangerous" people.  This is also the reason why I feel safer in a condo environment.  I can also jog within the condo area.
8. Loneliness - I must admit that I do feel lonely being by myself everyday.  Although I try to keep myself busy with work, Quran classes, aerobic classes, dinner with friends, running errands, watch K-drama but there will be a point in time just before you go to sleep that you will feel lonely.  But to feel lonely like an hour 3 times a week, I definitely can handle and it is a piece of cake for me now.  When I pray, I try to remember to ask Allah to let the prayers I do helps me to always be in the path that Allah wants and like and to help me to enter jannah.

So it is not always fun but life is like that anyway.  At least 95% of the time I am extremely happy.  I may be alone but I am learning to survive.  Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I don't.  Sometimes I cry, sometimes I laugh. Sometimes I am alone, sometimes with friends and families.

The solution I take for myself for the above day-to-day problems may not be the right solution for you.  Always, have a network of friends because they are the ones you turn to when you have problems. It is extremely good to have single friends like myself because they understand my problem the best.  Also to have the support of your family is extremely important I feel.  My siblings are always there to help me when I fall and this I appreciate very much. and I try to give back to my single friends and my sibling as much as they give me whenever I can.

Being single doesn't mean you have to stay by yourself at all times.  I try to mixed around and gather friends but I only allow those I trust to come near me.  So I am collecting acquaintances now.

We are still in the Syawal month, I wish my Muslim readers and friends Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, Maaf zahir dan batin if ever my writing doesn't agree with you or may have hurt you in any way.

Thank you for reading my story.  In Sya Allah I will continue to write.... may all of us be in Allah's blessings at all times.... Good night....

Single is Fun

Assalamualaikum,

I am now single.  I didn't know being single is so much fun.  I totally have no complaints what so ever.

Both my divorce case and my hadhanah case have been concluded.  I can now start my life fresh.  I now have more time to think of myself. 

Things I have never got to do for myself and now I do:

1. Cut my hair really short - like a boy cut.  It is freedom by itself.  Your head feel so light.
2. Get my hair colored light brown. Wonderful feeling to see me in different light (different hair color maaaa)
3. Learn to recite Al-Quran.  My tajweed is much better now.  I will recite at least one long surah at least once a week.  The peacefulness you get to reading your creator's words are extremely reassuring.
4. Able to go out with my girlfriends.  Previously once a year pun payah.  Always having to ask for permission.  Asking doesn't mean you will be allowed to go out.
5. I don't have to cook everyday anymore.  I used to think my life is only limited to the kitchen. Yeee Haaa... Now I do cook, but only if I feel like doing so.  If me alone, I can survive by just eating crackers... hihihi.. i tell you this is freedom. When my children come during the weekend, i just eat out if I don't want to cook.  I am totally almost stress free now.
6. I am an extreme romance addicts.  I used to read a lot of English romance novel in school.  Now I am a confirmed K-Drama addict.  It makes me laugh and it makes me cry.  One of my niece is also a big everything Korean fan.  My daughter also follows Korean drama that I watch too.... K-Drama gives me the romance elements in my life.  I love to share Korean stuff with my daughter and my niece whenever we get together.
7. I have more time spent with my siblings.  Before this, it is such a rare occasion that I can visit my siblings or even my mother.  Now I can do it whenever I like. Not that I do it all that much because I just realised that single persons are busy people too.

Oh I do feel lonely sometimes, but that is like 10-20 mins in a week before I got swept away with my busy schedule again.

I wonder why does husband not allowing their wife to do what she likes.  I love doing what I am doing now and none of it is against the teachings of Islam, at least that's what I think. Doesn't a wife's happiness contribute to a husband's and the family's happiness? 

Since I am so happy now, should I even bother to get married again?  I think I should have fun for another 2 - 5 years then perhaps I can think of getting married again.  But then again should I even bother to get married again if that husband in the future is going to make my life miserable again.  I think not!!! My K-Drama is calling...

Till next time.... Lotsa Luv... have a good evening... sleep tight. Jangan lupa baca doa tidur, Al-fatihah and Ayat Kursi.  Semoga Allah melindungi kita selalu daripada apa yang tidak kita ketahui dan apa yang kita ketahui yang boleh memudharatkan kita dan anak-anak kita... I love you, Allah. I love you, Rasulullah.

Hadhanah - Hak Penjagaan Anak-anak

Assalamualaikum,

Another part of my story that I haven't told you is about hak penjagaan anak-anak or also known as hadhanah.

I have 2 children both of them has passed the age of mumayyiz.  They are 12 and 14. According to Syariah Law and Undang-undang Keluarga Islam yang berkuatkuasa di Malaysia, a boy below the age of 7 years old and a girl below the age of 9 years old are to be under the care of the mother.  But my children has both exceed this age limit.  Therefore, according to the Syariah law being practised in our country, my children should make their decision on their own with whom they want to stay with.

I purposely filed for hadhanah because I want to give the opportunity to my children to make a decision with whom they want to stay with.  In addition, their decision will then be recorded accordingly in the court of law and no one can dispute this decision. Why do I do this?  Because I have no trust in my ex-husband at all.  He will manipulate even his children if he can - all to his benefit.  I am sure he assures himself that what he is doing is for the children's own good but knowing him for 15 years, I always doubt this.  I have seen evidence over and over again, all decision made is to his benefit or to fulfill his vengeance.  Mind you, I have to fork out more money to pay the lawyer to enable this opportunity to be given to my children.  Also, I want to show my children how their decision will affect their lives.  I know many adults who refused to make decision and just let the flow of life take them to whereever and I don't want this to happen to my children.

Surprisingly, my children decided that they want to stay with their father instead of me.  They went into a room with the lawyers (from my side and from his side) and the judge and they tell their decision without me or their father in the room.  That was the most hurtful moment in my life.  My ex-husband never helped me take care of my children.  He never get up at night when they cried. He never take them to the playground.  He never feed them.  It has always been me who tends to  everything my children's needs and wants. So to me the decision my children took is totally outrageous and resulted in me not talking to them for a few days.  I was too hurt and numb to do anything.

There's one good thing though, because my children has passed the age of mumayyiz, my ex-husband cannot do anything without their agreement.  I know my children wants to spent weekends with me so I pick them up every weekend and no one can stop my children because that is what they want although this really is not the agreed schedule as outlined in the hadhanah papers.  So now it is a routine, that I spend the weekend with my children. During weekdays we keep in touch with goodnight calls.  I think my current situation is not half as bad as i initially thought.  Thank you Allah.  I love You, Allah.

Proses Perceraian - The Conclusion

Assalamualaikum,

So sorry for not putting a proper conclusion to my story. Here it is.

Going back to last February 2012, if you follow my case, after the discussion with Jawatankuasa Pendamai failed, I was supposed to go through Majlis Hakam.  As I understand it, Majlis Hakam will take the power of jatuhkan talaq from pihak suami.  Hakam can be the one yang jatuh kan talaq.  My lawyer has actually asked me to appoint an uncle from my family's side to represent me even.  But this never materialised.

At this time, my ex-husband also has a lawyer.  My lawyer and his lawyer negotiated with my ex-husband and me.  I was asked if I am willing to let go of my rights of harta sepencarian, nafkah eddah dan all rights to nafkah yang telah tertangguh during the marriage of 15 years, if he give me the divorce that I wanted.  I immediately agreed.  My greedy ex-husband find that that is an extremely good offer seems to like the idea that he doesn't have to give me a single cent and eventually agreed to jatuhkan talaq.  My friends said I was really stupid for letting go of my rights because they said I would have obtained a good sum.  To me, he is a nuisance and has made my life miserable for way too long and I couldn't wait to get rid of him from my life so didn't think too much of the opportunity lost there.

I am formally a free woman on 16 May 2012. Alhamdulillah... I can now lead a normal life without kongkongan.  I am a Muslim woman and I want to die a Muslim and jannah is my objective.  May Allah continues to support and give me His Protection through this life.  I love you Allah.  Thank you for this gift.