Assalamualaikum,
So sorry for not putting a proper conclusion to my story. Here it is.
Going back to last February 2012, if you follow my case, after the discussion with Jawatankuasa Pendamai failed, I was supposed to go through Majlis Hakam. As I understand it, Majlis Hakam will take the power of jatuhkan talaq from pihak suami. Hakam can be the one yang jatuh kan talaq. My lawyer has actually asked me to appoint an uncle from my family's side to represent me even. But this never materialised.
At this time, my ex-husband also has a lawyer. My lawyer and his lawyer negotiated with my ex-husband and me. I was asked if I am willing to let go of my rights of harta sepencarian, nafkah eddah dan all rights to nafkah yang telah tertangguh during the marriage of 15 years, if he give me the divorce that I wanted. I immediately agreed. My greedy ex-husband find that that is an extremely good offer seems to like the idea that he doesn't have to give me a single cent and eventually agreed to jatuhkan talaq. My friends said I was really stupid for letting go of my rights because they said I would have obtained a good sum. To me, he is a nuisance and has made my life miserable for way too long and I couldn't wait to get rid of him from my life so didn't think too much of the opportunity lost there.
I am formally a free woman on 16 May 2012. Alhamdulillah... I can now lead a normal life without kongkongan. I am a Muslim woman and I want to die a Muslim and jannah is my objective. May Allah continues to support and give me His Protection through this life. I love you Allah. Thank you for this gift.
So sorry for not putting a proper conclusion to my story. Here it is.
Going back to last February 2012, if you follow my case, after the discussion with Jawatankuasa Pendamai failed, I was supposed to go through Majlis Hakam. As I understand it, Majlis Hakam will take the power of jatuhkan talaq from pihak suami. Hakam can be the one yang jatuh kan talaq. My lawyer has actually asked me to appoint an uncle from my family's side to represent me even. But this never materialised.
At this time, my ex-husband also has a lawyer. My lawyer and his lawyer negotiated with my ex-husband and me. I was asked if I am willing to let go of my rights of harta sepencarian, nafkah eddah dan all rights to nafkah yang telah tertangguh during the marriage of 15 years, if he give me the divorce that I wanted. I immediately agreed. My greedy ex-husband find that that is an extremely good offer seems to like the idea that he doesn't have to give me a single cent and eventually agreed to jatuhkan talaq. My friends said I was really stupid for letting go of my rights because they said I would have obtained a good sum. To me, he is a nuisance and has made my life miserable for way too long and I couldn't wait to get rid of him from my life so didn't think too much of the opportunity lost there.
I am formally a free woman on 16 May 2012. Alhamdulillah... I can now lead a normal life without kongkongan. I am a Muslim woman and I want to die a Muslim and jannah is my objective. May Allah continues to support and give me His Protection through this life. I love you Allah. Thank you for this gift.
Saya juga dlm situasi yg sama.. saya akan melakukan solat istiharah, mencri panduan dlm penceraian...
ReplyDeleteI wish you all the best. May Allah will always be with you to keep you safe from harm and brings happiness to you every day.
ReplyDeleteSalam
ReplyDeleteI am a 44 years old working single mom and divorced in 2011. Was married for 13 years and had 3 children - 15 yrs old daughter, 13 years old son and 7 years old daughter. I filed for Fasaqh divorce. It started when I can no longer depend on my husband as my protector when he did a conspiracy against me with his family using the children. I had the custody of the youngest daughter, as the older children chose to stay with his father. Why? I don't blame my children as they were promised and showered with gifts, toys and paid holidays by the ex-husband and his grandparents.
During the ongoing divorce process, the ex-husband had done terrible things such as false police report against me, hospital using my children as pawn. I rushed here and there for the sake of my children and had sleepless nights. I fell, I rose and dusted myself up many, many times. Only Allah knows.
Just a few weeks ago, again he took my youngest child and made another false police report. Again another marathon run. I was set-up by him, his father and his uncle. My daughter was given to him for temporary custody for 30 days by JKM just because JKM was too lazy to use the 'neutral ground' process. I can only pray for me and my children wellbeing. My family and friends supported me. They said "It's time for you to let go of my youngest and let him take care all of them, knowing that the grandparents will manage the children on his behalf. If not, he will keep on hurting you. Don't let him affect your mind and you need to move on. You are responsible for your own wellbeing". I gave it a thought and decided....it's time, a sacrifice need to be made. I should be free. I am strong and keep moving on...my happiness counts. He knows best.
Salam
ReplyDeleteI am also a single working mother of 3 children. Been married for 13 years and divorced in 2011. I have the custody of the youngest daughter - 7 years old. However, the ex-husban is still disturbing me with his bad intentions using my daughter as a pawn. MasyaAllah! He too has not been paying the 'nafkah' for my daughter. He has taken away my daughter by false police report again. I have gone thru the same incident and it has made me filed for divorce. Doa orang teraniaya makbul.
I need to be responsible to myself. For goodness sake, I am reaching 44 years old. I can't be running here and there just because of the idiot or shall I call it the 'Attention Seeker'. I fell, I rose and dusted myself up many times. I told myself Allah loves me and ada hikmah behind all these. Now I am moving forward and am having a great time. Only Allah knows best.
Waalaikumsalam,
ReplyDeleteDearest Pretty Kapas, I am so glad you have your friends and family to support you. My family and my friends are really my backbone too, to help ease my burden when things felt really heavy to carry, on my own.
Your ex-husband is really evil. How can he lives with his evil self. I am so sorry you are going through so much. Do stay strong. Indeed, you are right, Allah knows best. Allah is the best planner. Let's pray that your children and mine will always be protected by Allah and will be back with us some time in the near future.
I'm glad I found this blog and feel sad to find out so many women are in the same boat with me or even worse....why there are so many irresponsible husbands.....is something wrong with our education system or upbringing? I'm also in divorce process now...since early this year. Jawatankuasa pendamai recommended divorce and hakim advised my husband to jatuhkan talak in court but he still refused. The next step is perlantikan hakam.
ReplyDeleteI understand what u went through....I would do the same if given the chance....no need nafkah or whatever....I just want to be free and end the tedious process. But my husband has not been agreeing to anything. He selfishly refuses to let me go. I guess who doesn't like free ride? Can claim to be a husband and a father but no burden or worries at all....let the wife take care and pay for everything.
Congrats on your freedom and glad that u r enjoying it. Hope I would have the same success story to share. Wish me luck! May Allah help me.
Salam Anonymous,
ReplyDeleteI wish Allah is with you and hope you will get what you wanted.
Allah made it in such a way that kuasa talak dalam pegangan pihak suami. Tapi ada caranya untuk pihak isteri meminta cerai tetapi kehendak ini mestilah sangat kuat supaya kita mencari setiap jalan yang ada to execute it. Persevere, and continue to look for ways.
Good luck Anonymous. May Allah always be with you and protect you from harm.
im goin through the same thing..i need help :( its so heartbreaking
ReplyDeletei feel that i can talk to no one..im alone n taking care of my 2 little boys
isla_rahman@yahoo.com
Salam Isla Rahman. We are never alone. Allah is near. Please be strong. If today looks bleak, tomorrow is another day. There may be sunshine tomorrow. Never loose hope. Sabar banyak-banyak. May Allah gives you some of His strength so that you can persevere through this hardship and I wish you will find your happiness together with your 2 boys soon.
ReplyDeleteMe too i feel sad cant even type any words just read in blur coz my watery eyes
ReplyDeleteNow im thinking, some sort of people dont deserve to get married...For man, he irresponsible, for woman she wont respect husband as a leader....remember ! try to imagine the mean of happiness in your own view......i got my view of happiness but cant afford it without best companion....still wondering
ReplyDeleteashadi1977@gmail.com - hadi zain
Salam
ReplyDeleteI am sorry to make you revisit this but was it so bad that you couldnt make your marriage work? I am going through the same thing now. 2 years married and a son 2yrs old. Wife wants a divorce I dont. i dont feel that I cant let her go but at least try to give the best first before calling it quits.
Salam
ReplyDeleteI am sorry to make you revisit this but was it so bad that you couldnt make your marriage work? I am going through the same thing now. 2 years married and a son 2yrs old. Wife wants a divorce I dont. i dont feel that I cant let her go but at least try to give the best first before calling it quits.
Dear Hurt, I was married for 15 years and I have endured to the best ability that I can. I have my limits and there is no more buffer to take in anymore hurtful situations. I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel - i see only darkness. I don't see my ex ever going to change instead he gets worst day after day, year after year. How much longer should I suffer and endure? another year, another 2 years or until I die? I don't know about your marriage and I am not the best person to give advice. I can make a decision for myself but not for you. I do wish Allah will help both you and your wife only the best and full of happiness and love for each other. Love must be nurtured and worked on by both parties (husband and wife) and not just one person. One person working at it will eventually lead to failure... May Allah helps you and your wife for the best outcome for both of you...
ReplyDelete