I started the process of asking for a divorce by getting a lawyer. I found a lawyer from the internet. At this time, I did not even tell my ex that I am filing for divorce. We have not had anything in common for such a long time. We were more like housemates than husband and wife. I always ensure that I am out of his way of his daily activities. But at this time I still do my duties in ensuring that he has his meals and his clothes are washed and ironed. What kind of housemates ensure she is out of the hair of the other housemates but at the same time prepares food on the table and clean up his clothes? We have not had a proper conversation for years. I have often wondered what kind of marriage that I was having as it brings me no happiness at all.
My ex doesn’t give me much freedom. He is always wanting to know where I am going and with whom. Mind you, he wants to know only. He has never provided me my daily expenses ever since we start this meaningless marriage. Anyway, going back to my story, I found a lawyer from the internet. I am not sure of the procedure to file for a divorce, hence I decided to get a lawyer that will do this for me. I was so glad that I found a lady lawyer initially.
We met for the first time before May 2011. I told her my story and she requested I brought along the below documents in the next meeting.
1. Sijil Nikah
2. Surat beranak 2 of my children
3. My photocopy IC
So the next meeting the above was copied and handed over to her. We then decided to meet the third time to read the “Wakalah”. This is done at the Pejabat agama. Reading out the “Wakalah” in front of a certified saksi from the Pejabat Agama. “Wakalah” is a contract between me and the lawyer whereby I am allowing the lawyer to file necessary divorce paper work or acting on my behalf in regards to the divorce I am seeking. At this point I need to pay RM1000 so that the lawyer will commence the necessary work.
My divorce follow Carta 11: Prosess Kes Permohonan Cerai (Tanpa Persetujuan Bersama) in the attached document.
Step A: Kaunter Mahkamah: my lawyer acting on my behalf to submit the Borang Permohonan Perceraian. She also pays the necessary fee on my behalf. At this point the lawyer knows the date and time for me and my ex to be at the mahkamah syariah (which is usually not more than 21 days from the date of the submission of the Borang Permohonan Perceraian). She communicated this date to me.
Step B: The Syariah court should inform and hand over the summon to my ex. Unfortunately, this never happens. I am not sure which of the process that fails to work here. My ex only knows that he needs to be at the Syariah Court after I sms him. By the time he reaches the court, the session is already over. So no “lafaz cerai” can take place on this date. My lawyer then arrange for a new date.
Step C & D: The second hearing happens. As usual, always check and confirm that your name is in the list for the date and time of the hearing. You can always ask the counter for this confirmation if need to but the list is usually pasted anyway at the papan kenyataan at the court. This time my ex refused to divorce me. After taking about a 30 minutes break, my lawyer suggested that we form Jawatankuasa Pendamai.
Step E: This time we went to the Syariah Court and we have to bring seorang wakil. I elected my eldest sister as orang tengah. My ex elected our friend, the Ustaz that taught our children Al-Quran. We inform the Court of our representative and obtained the Court’s permission for our wakil. At this time, I have paid another RM1000 to my lawyer.
Step F: We waited again (about 1.5 - 2 months of waiting) until we get the letter from Jawatankuasa Pendamai for the date to go for the proses perdamaian. Before we go for the discussion, my sister and I had a talk to discuss the reasons for why I am seeking for a divorce. So we went for the Jawatankuasa Pendamai discussion with my ex, his wakil and me, but I still refuse to get together. My sister had another session as she cannot make it for the first discussion.
Step G: Seorang kadi facilitates the Jawatankuasa Pendamai discussion. He concludes the discussion and created a report to be passed over to the Syariah Court. In his report, he will report whether a truce has been achieved. For my case I insist that I want to dissolve the marriage.
Step H: I went again to the Syariah Court to hear the result of the Jawatankuasa Pendamai. Unfortunately the report hasn’t reached the Syariah Court yet. I went to the court just to hear that the report has not been received. I was really mad as my time has been wasted to go to court just to hear no report has been received. Another date was set up so that the court can decide on the next course of action for my case. From the report of Jawatankuasa Pendamai, no agreement was achieved to keep my marriage between all parties. The Court then decided that my case will have to go through Proses Majlis Hakam. This is where I am in the process now. It took me 9 months to get to this stage of the process. By this time, I have lost confidence in my lawyer and decided to get another lawyer. This time I elected another lawyer. I got his name after asking around. His name is Ustaz Amir Nazli Hussin. I had to do another “Wakalah” and paid another RM1000 to Ustaz.
As of today, there have been two sessions in court. For both session, Ustaz Amir told me that I don’t have to come. I will need to attend the next one though. Pray for me…
